The SKIES of ALEXANDRIA #3
T H E D A Y I M A D E A N A I R P L A N E D I S A P P E A R
Lockdheed C-130 Hercules
I had orders to Deci... I packed the girls in the car, I threw my duffel bag in the trunk, and off we went to Ramstein Air Base outside of Kaiserslautern. We called it K-town because no one really wanted to say Kaiserslautern all the time. In fact, I have been blessed by people who, mistaking the name Kaiserslautern for a garbled sneeze, have been kind enough to show concern for my health and well-being.
After good-byes to last the two weeks I would be gone, I waited in the waiting room at the passenger terminal at Base Ops when a tiny, but very official dog led a rather muscular SP into the area. My buddy poked me in the ribs as if I hadn't noticed. Sometimes students ask me to tell a story. Sometimes I let them. Here's one... I call it 'The Day I Made an Airplane Disappear.'
One of the cool things about being stationed in Germany is that you get to go places from time to time. It was my turn to go to Deci. Deci is short for Decimomannu Air Base, in the Province of Cagliari on the Island of Sardinia. The island of Sardinia is the top of an ancient volcano, and the air base is located in what was, a considerable time ago, a sea of boiling lava. I say this so that you know, Deci is surrounded by short, craggy mountain peaks. Remember that.
At the duly appointed time, I could not contain myself any longer.
"Wow," I said to the Security policeman, "that doesn't look like a German Shepheard..."
The SP patiently explained that this particular dog, a Toy Poodle-Rat Terrier mix, was the base's top drug-sniffing dog. This little poodlish girl could get into and out of places no Shepard would dream of entering. I was now informed. I cooled my heels longer. I am an anxious flyer. I know that when I have control of the airplane, I really enjoy flying. That's why I also enjoy driving. It is also why I am a poor passenger. I would be a passenger on this flight.
We were waiting for VIPs to board. In the Air Force, rank has it's privilege. One of the privileges of being a Colonel or General is that you board first. Everyone else waits for you. Finally, three Colonels, who were also Chaplains, passed by and boarded. I had never seen a single Chaplain who was a Colonel, and now three were on our flight...
When I did get to board, I was greeted by a very young looking First Lieutenant who would be the pilot, a very old looking Second Lieutenant, who would be the co-pilot. I asked the First Lieutenant for some clarity.
'One of the airlines is on strike, so the co-pilot is getting some Reserve time in. He actually flies 747s for a living... I know, it looks odd...'
By now, weird things kept happening - the police poodle, the three chaplains, and an odd flight crew. The next thing is positively weird, I slept on the flight! I do not sleep on airplanes, ever. Of course, I reasoned, since we are in a cargo plane, with the seats facing the rear, and instead of an in-flight movie, all I could do was watch a spare jet engine that was along for the ride in the cargo bay bounce around, sleep was a good alternative. Sitting next to the landing gear, I heard the landing gear come up - there are no windows in the cargo bay - and knew in a couple hours, we would be landing.
It was the wheels cycling down that woke me. Ahh, we must be landing, I thought, and I will soon be standing on Deci. Normally, in a plane, when the airplane is nose up, you are reclining. Because we were seated facing the rear, everything would be backward. This was annoying. My ears told me we were close to landing when all of a sudden, I was thrown forward and I heard the gear come up. This was not a good feeling.
We landed in Deci. I had left a beautiful Fall Day in Germany behind and was standing in the warmth of a brilliant Mediterranean sun. I looked around for a man in a dark suit in the corner explaining to a camera about entering The Twilight Zone, and when I didn't see him, I relaxed, found my room, and enjoyed some sun and catching up with friends I hadn't seen in a while.
The next day, one of the Chaplains was taking a tour of the facility and he explained what had happened. The flight crew had forgot the flaps and we barely missed some of those mountain peaks. They had to try it again. Oops. I told him about the dog, and how fortunate we were that no drugs had been found, then expressed my gratitude that I could be on such a flight with three chaplains because God must have been on that flight too.
Oh, that part about making an airplane disappear. Sorry, it's still classified. You'll just have to take my word...
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